I never wanted to be a wife and a mother. I believed the former and latter were mutually exclusive to being Stephanie The Avenger!, the alter ego I took on in my early teens. I thought drunken trust falls off the roof of a house, mt bike and rock climbing trips, rugby games and their after parties and numerous other exploits were the best methods for excitement. Now, seeing my 2 year old pull up for the first time or floating on his back after months of swim lessons, illicits the same adrenaline rush. I was fabricating a synthetic high that filled a hole I was unaware needed filling; unaware until the first time I saw Grayson. When I looked at him and saw myself and Doug encapsulated in one tiny human, I knew I was never more Stephanie The Avenger! then right at that moment.
Now I am pregnant with my second child, which came at an interesting moment in my life. I was training for my first amateur mma fight, when my training began to just feel off. I wasn’t recovering very well, I was tired and short of breath and nothing seemed to be making it better. My husband, 28 years my senior and with four adult children in addition to our 2 year old, suggested I take a pregnancy test. I was adament that there was no possible way I could be pregnant. We had taken the most basic of precautions-abstinence. Well, except for the one time. Apparently the, one-of-us-is-63, form of birth control is not a very reliable method.
I never outgrew being a tomboy, so becoming a mother was something that intimidated me more than any thing I had ever done. I express a lot of that angst through writing so the idea for this blog was born. I hope the entries amuse you, the journey has certainly amused me; but then I’m the kind of person that laughs at her own jokes, so don’t feel obligated.